Coaching Questions
I have one favourite coaching question. It’s “what will it take?”
Every other question plants in my head and then out of my mouth at the exact time it’s meant to. Each unique question has its origin in its right place. That ‘right place’ being when I’m curious. It’s what I interested in at that very moment. No more complicated than that.
If there is something a little manipulative, then it forms because the person I’m coaching should be asking that same question of themself.
I know I’m good at asking questions. I’ve been asking them for half a century. I wasn’t born a coach. Instead, I was born interested.
“Don’t be interesting. Be interested.”
Recently I revisited teaching a cohort of dedicated senior leaders in how to be better at coaching. It was a really meaningful experience for all of us. And maybe in a moment of weakness, or not, I promised to share questions I use in coaching. It’s fair to say this is a list of questions I like. There is something about them that just works.
On paper they miss the timing, the elocution and the impact. But a promise is a promise. Here goes.
What does it evoke in you?
What surprised you most?
How did it play out?
What game were you in?
Looking back on it, how could you have won that game?
Move forward 3 months, how might it look and feel now?
How might a person off the street describe this situation?
What’s obvious?
If I removed the barrier of deadlines, what would you choose to do?
“The best questions work in delay. They help people to think.”
What feels inevitable?
Tell me the pattern you’re in?
What typically gets you unstuck?
Who do you know that would have handled this situation well?
How does this play out if you are at your most calm and poised?
If you get to remove one factor from the equation, what is that factor?
Avoid starting a question with ‘why’ It starts to feel like an interrogation.
Let’s reverse roles, what question would you ask you?
You only have to do one thing to fix this, what is that one thing?
You get a million dollars of budget tomorrow, how does it change your approach?
Tell me where you consistently get stuck.
If you could acquire a new skill to tackle this, what do you choose?
What does the bold you choose?
Tell me the first line of the last chapter.
Never ever ask 100% open questions when coaching. That too feels like an interrogation.
You get one wish filled. It’s….
What’s the one interaction you’d like to revisit / replay / re-do / repeat?
You get to do the TED talk about this experience, what’s the title of the talk?
What is most getting in the way?
You get to start again, what problem are you really solving?
I’m giving you 90 seconds, jot down as many next steps choices as you can.
What emotions are most getting in the way?
What role does history play in this situation?
How is it different if everyone takes everyone at face value?
How it is different if you are 10% more confident than you are today?
Silence is a terrific question.
We see each other in a week’s time, what will be different?
You are on ‘Hot Ones’. Mouth burning. Hot chillies. What decision do you make?
Who do you know that would have a different take on this?
What’s the one thing you must do to guarantee you will act on this?
How do you remove 30% of the risk?
Your reputation is enhanced by what you choose to do next, what do you do next?
If you get the best sleep of your life, what does the refreshed you do?
What do you need most from me?
ABC. Always Be Coaching.
A list of questions is only as good as your ability to listen. These questions are beautiful and impactful when part of a genuine conversation. Without the context of another human’s life, they are magazine filler at best.
The best coaches find the questions appear and appear again because they are interested.